We have decided to have a small holiday, from, ahem, our year long holiday. We have left our caravan behind at the marina and courageously set forth to explore Crete.
Now, part of the reason for this was to see bits of Crete as yet unseen by us. But the other reason…to have access to a real life, proper bathroom!
The second house on our little tour has rather disappointed in this regard. Here’s what happened;
1. Yesterday (yesterday can you believe) I thought, post kids to bed, I’d have a relaxing shower. “Turn the water switch on for 15 minutes and you will have hot water” said the man. This was not correct. Not 15 minutes, not 1 hour, nor 3. Indeed, not all flippin night. The switch, my good man, doesn’t work.
2. We realised it wasn’t hot in the morning. Kate messages the man but no response. In fairness it was pretty early.
3. Kate suspected that there was a fuse issue. She explains this to me saying “blah blah something blah fuses blah electricity science related stuff blah blah. So, do you think I should give it a go?”
“Absolutely!” Says supportive husband.
“Kerthump” goes the whole house. Everything goes out.
“Oh”, says Kate. “I think that was the wrong thing to do.”
4. Kate reports new development to the landlord.
5. Moments later random, but very pleasant, Greek guy arrives at 9 out of the blue. We say “good morning” in the traditional manner whereby I speak with a terrible accent in his language and he returns the favour with a dodgy accent in my language. We do this a few times to express our delight at the time of day.
6. He immediately fixes the electric issue. Hooray.
7. He promises that the water will be on in 3 hours. There’s talk of “petrol…topped up…turn off after 3 hours or all gone.” We nod enthusiastically.
8. He joins us for a coffee and we say “good morning” a few more times and we promise that we will return in the summer to drink raki with him and dance. He demonstrates said dance. He didn’t need the raki it turns out!
9. Three hours pass. Nothing happens.
10. He returns. Does something outside. WE HAVE HOT WATER!!!
11. We head out (the girls are climbing the walls) and return a few hours later with the wonderful knowledge hot water awaits.
12. Kate tried to shower but the water is scolding.
13. It’s 5pm. The kids are watching “the march of the penguins”. I try to have a shower. Flossy arrives. “Can I have a bath?” She’s full of the cold so I can’t say no. Get her washed and out and dressed and then…
14. “Daddy, me bath, daddy.” Felicity has got wind of the bath opportunity and she wastes no time in getting involved. And she remains there until dinner time.
15. By this time, since the water is too hot we turn off the heater. Yes, you know what’s coming. I go off and…
16. We have dinner. Watch the penguins for a bit and then get the girls ready for bed.
17. I go for my shower. Only to find Freya busy on the toilet. Note here for interior designs, please put toilets in a separate room from the shower/bath! Freya goes and then…
17 b. Flossy arrives. “I’m desperate.” Then spends an eternity with the whole performance including watching how slowly the liquid soap takes to slide down her palm, “GET ON WITH IT FLOSSY!!”
18. Finally! Peace. And the water…well, it wasn’t exactly freezing but it was a long way off scolding.